Are there signs that your partner is cheating? What are the characteristics of an affair person? Research reveals: Pay attention to "4 situations" when they arise

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Are there signs that your partner is cheating? What are the characteristics of an affair person? Research reveals: Pay attention to "4 situations" when they arise

In view of the gradual liberalization of sexual concepts between men and women, having “open relationships” or multiple sexual partners is nothing new. However, if intimate partners are committed to each other or are married, it is often difficult for one of them to engage in “cheating” behavior, which is socially unacceptable. The “Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy” study pointed out that a partner’s cheating behavior is closely related to “four situations”; stress, alcoholism and other situational factors may be potential factors.

A research team led by the University of Maryland in the United States explored whether different motivations for infidelity are related to specific emotions, behaviors and outcomes after infidelity. 495 people who had been unfaithful at least once before participated in a questionnaire that assessed their motivations for infidelity, their behavior during the affair, and the consequences of the affair.

The research team distinguished eight motivations for infidelity, of which “four signs” were directly related to various aspects of the primary relationship, namely irritability (anger toward the primary partner), lack of care for the primary partner, reduced commitment to the partner, and Neglect of your partner. The other four motivations are not directly related to infidelity, including improving self-esteem, the desire for more sexual partners, the desire for more sex, and situational factors such as alcoholism or stress leading to impaired judgment.

The research team found that subjects who cheated were more likely to reassure their partners and had higher intellectual performance than those who had not cheated. In addition, their sexual performance often satisfies their partners. The cheaters’ extramarital affairs last longer due to lack of love, desire for sexual changes or desire for self-esteem, and they are more inclined to openly express their love for the third party. On the other hand, infidelity that is driven by situational factors, such as alcoholism, stress, and one-night stands, tend to be more brief, less public, and less sexually satisfying.

I have a habit of rationalizing my behavior after cheating! Psychologists reveal the “10 major traits” of people who have affairs

Based on the above research, is the behavior of cheaters related to their personality traits? Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a professor of psychology at the University of California, USA, analyzed that common reasons why people cheat in relationships include the following:

  1. In a relationship, the desire to “be needed” is higher.

  2. Easily hide difficulties with emotional intimacy.

  3. Easy to encounter accidental situations, such as drunkenness.

  4. Impulse.

  5. Like to seek excitement.

  6. Lack of empathy.

  7. Fear of aging.

  8. Seek dominance in relationships.

  9. Prefer to differentiate between sexual behavior and romantic relationships, also known as “separation of sex and love.”

  10. Certain personality traits such as narcissism and psychopathy.

Durvasula pointed out that previous meta-studies have shown that cheaters are more likely to “deceive themselves”: In order to strongly deny their infidelity, they are likely to use “I didn’t mean it” and “As long as they are human” after the cheating behavior. We all make mistakes" and “Cheating is not that serious” and other reasons. “Data indicate that changes in self-concept, as a means of justifying one’s behavior, are a common defense strategy used by people to justify their infidelity.”

Durvasula believes the reason some people cheat is because of “biological expectations”, which is that men want multiple partners to maximize reproduction and choose younger partners for “fertility reasons.” This argument has limitations, however, because while a man can impregnate multiple women, it has no meaning if he cannot ensure the safety and nurturing of his offspring.

“I’m afraid this is just a reason for cheaters to argue. In fact, they are more likely to ignore universal moral principles than ordinary people, but they are often afraid of violating social expectations and make excuses that are difficult for ordinary people to understand.” Durvasula said.

Source:

Justify my love: Cognitive dissonance reduction among perpetrators of online and offline infidelity

Attachment Insecurity and Infidelity in Marriage: Do Studies of Dating Relationships Really Inform Us about Marriage?

What Do People Do, Say, and Feel When They Have Affairs? Associations between Extradyadic Infidelity Motives with Behavioral, Emotional, and Sexual Outcomes

Further reading:

How to get out of singles? The 4 “reproductive advantages” that men and women care about most: Appearance is not a necessary condition

Are boys the ones who are prone to “seasickness” in relationships? British study: Men experience more pain after falling out of love

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