How can you provide help and companionship to relatives and friends who are suffering from depression? Psychologists urge you to start with "three aspects"
It was recently reported that artist Ai Cheng died after falling from a building, which shocked Taiwan’s entertainment industry. Psychologist Ni Jiazhen from the Lianqing Clinic said that if a family member is diagnosed with depression, not only may they be unable to work, but in severe cases, they may also need the care and companionship of many people. Although there are family members by their side, one person’s illness often leaves the whole family in a depressed mood.
Faced with the above situation, how can relatives and friends help patients overcome the difficulties? Psychologist Ni Jiazhen pointed out that based on clinical observations and statistics from various countries, as well as the impact of the COVID-19 epidemic, more and more patients are diagnosed with depression, and there is also a “younger” trend. When you see a relative or friend experiencing depression, low mood, or poor functioning in life, how to provide appropriate assistance or companionship as a relative or friend can start from the following “3 major aspects.”
The first step: first understand the status of patients with depression
When they learn that a relative or friend is suffering from depression, most people’s instinctive reaction is “I want to help him as soon as possible, I want him to get better as soon as possible.” Psychologist Ni Jiazhen said that having similar thoughts may lead to two results:
I am too persistent in trying to make patients better. When the results are ineffective, I will easily feel frustrated and powerless.
Such actions can easily make patients with depression very stressed.
In addition, psychologist Ni Jiazhen also said that many people often hear words such as “Don’t think too much,” “Actually, your life is not bad,” “There are many people in the world who are less fortunate than you,” and “Come on!” Waiting for words to comfort relatives and friends who are depressed, but this is often another blow or burden to the depressed patient. The above words not only fail to truly sympathize with patients with depression, but can easily make relatives and friends feel even lower or ups and downs.
Step Two: Give the person with depression some space
Psychologist Ni Jiazhen further pointed out that relatives and friends can be helped to temporarily relieve themselves of responsibilities from existing life affairs, such as taking fewer classes, reducing working hours or suspending work, because patients with depression have very little mental, physical, and energy. It is prone to insomnia, excessive stress, inability to concentrate, etc., and even the inability to get up by oneself.
“Reduce the things they need to deal with and let them understand that ‘actually they have space to make choices.’ Or when they have severe insomnia, they don’t have to force a fixed sleep time. Try to sleep in sections to give them more space to adjust.”
Psychologist Ni Jiazhen takes the college students she has clinical contact with as an example: when they are diagnosed with depression, they usually have obvious difficulties in studying and attending. In this case, it may be difficult for parents and students to accept reduced class time or suspension of school. When students have insomnia and cannot concentrate, in addition to poor learning results, they are more likely to feel frustrated. If you insist on studying with excessive demands, there are many people who will backfire. At this time, you need the patience and wisdom of your companion.
Step Three: Appropriate companionship and establishing your own support system
Psychologist Ni Jiazhen said that no matter whether you are close to someone with depression or not, you need to evaluate “what can help based on the current situation.” When there is no need to be overly involved and responsible, avoid promising things that you cannot do, but instead It is necessary to make good use of other social resources or external relationships.
Psychologist Ni Jiazhen pointed out that the process of companionship is sometimes “heavy”, but in fact it can also be “light” arrangements, such as going for a walk outdoors or exercising together, and it needs to be adjusted or ended at any time based on the patient’s condition. Even just going to a park to bask in the sun for ten minutes, sitting on the grass with your feet touching the ground, or eating breakfast at a nearby breakfast restaurant may be beneficial to the patient.
In addition, there is no need to “over-emphasize” depression when interacting with patients with depression; clinical cases have been shared. Although the interaction with friends was relatively quiet at the lowest ebb, or showed a sense of depression, the friend did not ask specifically about it, or went out of his way to Enter the depression conversation. Such behavior makes patients feel very warm.
“When trying to find possible causes of depression, many parents will look back on their upbringing or marital relationship, thinking that their children may have done something wrong for their children to be depressed. In fact, there are many causes of depression, and caregivers at home should not overdo it. Self-blame and fighting alone.”
Finally, psychologist Ni Jiazhen reminds any companion that when a lot of emotions have accumulated in the process of accompanying a loved one with depression, or there are unspeakable thoughts, you can regularly seek out someone you can trust and understand to talk about your inner feelings, or Appropriately relieve stress through exercise and participation in social activities. Companions can also engage in psychological counseling, sort out confusion and emotions in a dedicated space, and gain supportive energy.
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