We are obviously having an affair but don't want to be together? Expert: It doesn't necessarily mean meeting a scumbag! 5 behaviors that may be signs of "commitment phobia"
I get along well with the person I have admired for a long time and have good interaction with him, but every time I mention whether I should enter a committed relationship, the other person shows negative emotions such as impatience, fear, and even fear. Is this a sign of meeting a “scumbag” or “scumbag”? Perhaps the person you are romantically interested in suffers from Gamophobia and is unable to engage in a romantic relationship due to past trauma.
Being afraid of being involved in a relationship doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a scumbag? If an ambiguous partner exhibits “5 behaviors”, it may be a sign of commitment phobia
According to the guidelines published by the American medical media “Cleveland Clinic”, “Phobia” is a type of anxiety disorder, clinically defined as excessive fear of things that are rarely dangerous. “Commitment phobia” is a type of fear of commitment or marriage. “Cleveland Clinic” points out that people with commitment phobia are often prone to the following behaviors when facing relationships:
Inability to form lasting intimate relationships.
Being extremely anxious in a relationship and even constantly worrying about the end of the relationship.
Patients tend to feel anxious or fearful when they see a happy and committed couple or partner.
Patients are prone to suddenly alienating their significant other or keeping them away from their circle of friends.
Patients will suddenly and voluntarily give up on a relationship, often without warning.
In addition, “Cleveland Clinic” points out that people with borderline personality disorder (BPD) may also avoid commitment due to a strong fear of abandonment and rejection, and they may also have trouble trusting others. Risk factors for commitment phobia include parental divorce, childhood trauma, breakup or divorce, insecure attachment styles, religion, etc., all of which may cause the occurrence of commitment phobia.
When it comes to emotional issues, I feel dizzy, nauseous and want to vomit! How to treat commitment phobia?
“Cleveland Clinic” reminds that if the partner wants to further invest in a committed relationship, or if the patient considers making a commitment to the partner, they may experience chills, dizziness, excessive sweating, palpitations, nausea, difficulty breathing, and whole-body trembling. Symptoms such as stomach upset or indigestion.
Dr. Nathan Greene, a licensed clinical psychologist in the United States, pointed out that the “Mental Health Assessment Scale” will be used clinically to diagnose phobia; if the phobia is further diagnosed, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and exposure therapy will be used to help Guide the patient to relax and allow the patient to gradually develop the idea of making a commitment.
How to overcome fear of commitment? Psychologist teaches “4 tips” to get out of trauma
Dr. Greene also pointed out that another type of “love phobia” (Philophobia) has also been found clinically. Patients are also prone to being deeply involved in emotional problems, which can lead to obvious symptoms such as heart palpitations, nausea, and difficulty breathing. Unlike patients with commitment phobia, patients with love phobia are completely unable to engage in a normal relationship. These patients may have lacked experience in intimate relationships before, or they may always feel anxious in relationships.
Dr. Greene suggests that in addition to seeking treatment from a psychiatrist, psychosomatic physician or psychological counselor, patients with commitment phobia or love phobia can also perform the following exercises alone to help clarify their true inner thoughts and move from commitment or love as quickly as possible. Coming out of fear:
Review relationship history. Face each of your past relationships. Have you been hurt by love or involvement in relationships in the past, making you afraid of repeating the same mistakes in new relationships?
Identify the negative voices. Find any “negative voices” that are keeping you from being in a happy relationship and try to stay away from them. These voices may come from parents, relatives and friends, social pressure or beliefs, etc.
Embrace negative emotions. Tell yourself that the emergence of negative emotions is normal and there is no need to feel ashamed or angry about them. Facing them directly is the best way to get rid of negative thoughts.
Clarify defense mechanisms. Moderately let go of your preconceived ideas about relationships, and try to clarify your “defense mechanism” for opening your heart to others. It may come from the exaggeration of your family of origin, social circle, or social media. If you cannot clarify, you should try to communicate with a psychologist or psychiatrist.
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