A must-read for couples and couples who often quarrel! Research proves "1 trick" can resolve conflicts: it only takes two minutes
Disputes between partners are inevitable, but too frequent quarrels or conflicts may not only affect the mental health of both parties, but also reduce the quality of life. Research published in “Personal Relationships” points out that if you can intervene through “reflective exercises” before a conflict is about to occur, it is expected to reduce the pain caused by the conflict and further ease the tension between the two parties.
A must-read for couples and couples who often quarrel! Study: “Reflective Practice” Helps Resolve Conflicts Between Two Parties
The research was initiated by the University of Waterloo in Canada. The research team explained that the theoretical basis of reflective practice is “self-efficacy” (whether an individual can use his or her own abilities to do something), “mindfulness” and “emotional regulation”. Previous literature has pointed out that reflective practice can help reduce Stress, increased self-efficacy, and non-judgmental attitudes that promote focus on the present. This method is simple and effective, and is expected to yield significant benefits within 2-3 minutes.
This study was divided into two experiments: In the first experiment, 358 participants were divided into a “reflective practice group” and a “non-reflective practice group.” The reflection exercise group needs to answer the following 6 questions, aiming to prompt them to think about the causes, coping strategies and rationality of conflicts from multiple perspectives:
Why did this conflict occur?
How should this conflict be handled?
Generally speaking, how should conflicts be handled?
How should people respond to conflict in relationships?
Why is this response reasonable?
What is the most helpful way to handle conflict in the future?
The two groups were further differentiated based on whether they had received an “adaptation framework” measure (in which the team informed the team about the benefits of the exercise before reflecting on the exercise). The analysis results pointed out that subjects who performed reflective exercises generally had an improved sense of conflict resolution efficacy and less stress caused by conflicts; unlike team predictions, the adaptive framework measures did not have a significant impact on the results.
If the “Efficacy Expectation Scale” is used as quantitative data, on a full score of 5 points, the conflict resolution efficacy score of those who participated in the reflection exercise increased from 3.40 points to 3.75 points. The sense of efficacy among non-participants also improved, but to a smaller extent, from 3.32 points to 3.51 points. In terms of stress reduction, the average score of participants dropped from 2.96 points to 2.39 points; the average score of non-participants dropped from 2.93 points to 2.58 points.
How do reflective exercises apply in life? Experts teach 5 tips: Meeting once a week is super useful
Experiment 2 included 411 people and aimed to compare the impact of three types of reflective practice on conflict resolution efficacy and stress: simple reflective practice (consistent with Experiment 1), adaptive reflective practice (adding more research theories), and highly structured reflective exercises (adding more reflective goals into concrete actions). The results show that all reflective activities can help improve efficacy and reduce stress; while overly complex reflective exercises do not necessarily bring more benefits to the subjects.
How should reflective practice be applied in life? Study author Denise C. Marigold said that combined with the results of two major experiments, reflective practice can be implemented through the following methods to help individuals effectively manage conflicts in a short period of time and promote personal growth:
Set time to think. Set a fixed time for reflection every day or every week, either in the morning, during lunch break, or before bed, and choose a quiet place to think where you can stay focused and free from distractions.
Record conflict situations. Record recent conflict events, including the background of the event, participants, and specific behaviors; and describe your own emotional reactions during the conflict to understand emotional trigger points.
Ask yourself questions repeatedly. For example, reflect on why the problem occurred, how you handled or responded to the conflict, and what is the best way to handle conflict in the future.
Think about improvement strategies. Based on the conclusions drawn during the reflection process, identify your strengths and areas for improvement in conflict management. At the same time, you can also discuss improvement measures with relatives, friends or partners.
Schedule partner meetings. Arrange a reflection meeting with your partner at a fixed time (such as every Saturday), and each person takes turns sharing their conflict experiences and reflection results in the past week.
For whom are reflective exercises not suitable? It may be useless for your partner to do “3 things” often
“Reflective exercises may be particularly suitable for couples who are already satisfied with the relationship but want to further enhance the relationship.” Marigold emphasized that the subjects in the study were generally satisfied with their partners, and most of the conflicts reported were in daily life. Conflicts such as poor communication, improper allocation of priorities, financial disagreements, etc. Reflective exercises may be particularly effective with these common and more minor conflicts.
However, Marigold points out that this doesn’t mean reflective practice always works. For example, for partners whose relationships are severely damaged, or who are extremely dissatisfied with their partners, simple reflective exercises may not have a significant effect. For example, if your partner is chronically abusive, humiliating, or violent, your first priority should be to seek social support and distance yourself from that partner, rather than trying to mediate the conflict through reflective practice.
Source:
Simple reflection exercises can build efficacy and reduce distress about relationship conflicts
Extended reading:
How to predict the probability of “mother-in-law and daughter-in-law problems”? Observe the 8 major signs of your partner. If your future mother-in-law has 1 condition, beware of control freak tendencies.
