"You have to have money to get girls" is already out of date! German study: Influence is more important than the other half of your income
As long as they are husband and wife, or boyfriend and girlfriend, it is inevitable that they will encounter conflicts in personality or values, so quarrels are an inevitable behavior for both parties. When you quarrel with your partner, do you always use power relations such as money, work or family background to make the other party obey you? For modern people who value communication and decision-making, this method may be a bit “Old School”! The latest research in Germany shows that how to exert personal influence in a partnership is more important than measuring the relationship by income.
Marriage stability relies on substantial influence and the proportion of power relationships gradually decreases
A research team from Germany’s Martin-Luther-Universität Halle-Wittenberg gathered 181 heterosexual couples, aged between 18 and 71, with an average relationship duration of eight years and at least one person living together. moon. The research team investigated how power relationships between couples affect different aspects of a marriage, such as satisfaction and commitment to the partner, and how these aspects affect marital quality. The experimental survey included feelings of admiration for the partner, trust, sexual satisfaction, oppression, and more. The team also calculated the power balance between the couples to investigate how similar they were to each other.
The results of the study show that men still have more power in marital relationships, which may be related to higher income and higher education; and on average, men make decisions more frequently. Interestingly, however, these two factors do not appear to affect couples’ relationships. In the survey, couples who also enjoy a high degree of power relationship in life are the happiest types of couples. Researchers believe that an individual’s subjective sense of power and the feeling of being able to act freely will significantly affect the relationship between husband and wife.
Among these subjects, both men and women said that when making important decisions, they could stick to their choices most of the time, and their spouses were also more considerate and supportive. Therefore, the study concluded that power relations are no longer the most important link in heterosexual partnerships. How spouses implement decisions and exert influence is their main concern. Regardless of men and women, as long as the decisions of both parties can Consistently, who has more power is actually not the point.
The longer the “cold war” lasts, the better the relationship will be? Staying silent makes your partner more positive
Although the power relationship between male and female partners is gradually becoming equal, quarrels will inevitably occur due to different values. What should we do if a deadlock occurs between partners due to differences in ideas? Research from the American Psychological Association shows that “ignoring your partner” may be more helpful in repairing the relationship than having an endless quarrel every day when you get up and see each other.
Researchers believe that many people think that cold wars or quarrels will make the relationship more tense and will not help matters. However, according to experiments, if one of the partners remains silent, the other partner will tend to actively seek a bridge of communication and be more courageous. Confessing one’s own feelings actually has a positive effect on the relationship between the two parties. However, this study is more effective for couples with lower incomes, but less applicable for couples with higher incomes.
Based on the above, the imbalance of power relations between opposite-sex couples is gradually becoming less and less, and if the gender concept in the family is too conservative, there may even be a risk of divorce . This shows that modern relationships pay more attention to mutual dependence rather than the opinions of one of the parties. Forget it. As the saying goes: “A hundred years of cultivation can take us across the same boat, and a thousand years of cultivation can make us sleep together.” It is certainly not easy for partners to go through many hardships together for many years. Don’t give up on a relationship easily because of a lack of communication or inconsistent ideas. emotion.
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