It's like planting malicious software in the hearts of children! Psychologists reveal the scariest thing about "this kind of parents": they are prone to affection and control
We often compare this amazing organ, the brain, to a computer. Like a computer, your brain is easily negatively affected by intrusive programs that can cause problems in your operating system. In the computer world, these destructive programs are commonly known as “malware”, but may have different names, such as “virus”, “bug”, “Trojan horse” or “worm”, among which are Some are drive-by downloads that can turn your computer into a zombie. Whether their goal is to completely take over your computer or mess with some files, these malicious programs are installed by programmers through unauthorized remote access.
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If you are new to computers, you may not notice that a program error exists until your computer starts to malfunction. However, if you ask experts for help, they will detect viruses and debug your system. As for viruses in the mind, you can use the same method, you just need to know how to do it. Any thoughts that make you feel uncomfortable or hopeless are some form of malware.
Mental malware can enter our brains at any age, as long as the “programmer” is charismatic or powerful enough. But most impactful malware has been around since childhood. We are socialized from a young age to believe that if we do certain things, we will make the lives of the adults around us, especially our emotionally immature parents, easier.
Because these social viruses are often just a convenience and have no real logic, they can become a confusing hodgepodge of conflicting messages. When these conflicting rules come into play at the same time, we are pulled between two equally strong ideas and become immobilized.
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The first step in debugging the Mind Computer is to understand that the bug may have been installed before you were old enough to tell the difference. Needless to say, you were told that this was “for your own good.” However, as a rule of thumb, any thoughts that make you feel uncomfortable or hopeless are some form of malware. Reasonable feelings of guilt and regret often prompt us to quickly correct our actions. When we do do something wrong, we feel a strong, healthy urge to make amends, whereas mind malware only makes you feel like a failure.
Early childhood malware likes to tell us that certain thoughts and feelings are bad, making us feel ashamed of our true reactions and confused about our motives. Of course, malware never reveals its control strategy. You are being manipulated by an invisible program installed in your childhood that masquerades as your conscience, causing you to waste a lot of time and mental energy trying to get yourself to think the right way and feeling bad when it fails. Eventually, you become the perfect host for the virus and believe you are never good enough.
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A good way to catch these viruses is to write down any thoughts that make you feel bad about yourself. Record it for a day and it becomes clear how far this computer worm has spread in your mind. Don’t forget, brain malware is characterized by giving you conflicting messages, completely mutually exclusive values, and categorical imperatives full of exceptions. Thinking with mind malware will not succeed.
After you have discovered the impact of a virus, the next step is to find its source code. It would be a strict one-sentence rule that causes you to feel guilty or have low self-esteem. It might be “You must always love your family,” or “Parents are always right,” or “Self-interest is not good.” OK, but success is good." (This combination better works.) You’ll find that these generalizations don’t hold water or even make sense at all.
Next, your job is to expose the virus pattern, remove the program, and deliver the Trojan horse. You need to think through every thought that makes you feel bad until you discover why it doesn’t make sense and where it might be coming from. By questioning it, confronting it, and refuting it like a lawyer on cross-examination, you can gradually loosen its grip. Once you realize that you’re being programmed without even realizing it, you can calmly observe its harmful effects and mentally say “no” to it every time it starts to make you feel bad.
In order to rewrite the program, you must choose adult beliefs that are reasonable in the adult world to resolve. It can be helpful to make a list, writing down old beliefs and comparing them with new ones. You will find that you cannot follow both sides at the same time, because they cannot both be true. Then, when you’re ready to let go of your past viral belief, simply delete it.
Your emotionally immature parents had no idea that the virus they were spreading could cause you so much trouble, and letting it linger in your brain is the worst kind of self-sabotage. The Trojan horse may seem like a gift from the gods, but the foreboding effect it brings will tell you it’s time to close the gates.
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