What is the difference between an "open relationship" and cheating or having an affair? Psychologist: 6 signs your partner may be having an affair
What is an open relationship? Is pursuing an open relationship a “sick” behavior?
Most people’s definition of “partnership” is a one-on-one relationship. If the other party proposes a one-to-many relationship or a many-to-many relationship in a partnership, does the so-called “open relationship” mean that the other party is psychologically abnormal? Does the public have misunderstandings about open relationships?
Psychologist Xu Jiaqi, director of Shanxiao Psychotherapy Center, said in an interview that the definition of “open relationship” is one of the relationship types that allows “non-single intimate relationships” after full discussion between both partners. The emotional state of people may differ based on gender, age or psychological needs. A true “open relationship” is an emotional state that is mutually recognized, defined, and even tailored by both parties.
Psychologist Xu Jiaqi said that if ordinary people show that they are in an open relationship, they will easily be considered “sick” or “immoral” by their relatives and friends around them. However, the definition of “morbidity” has its own complex and comprehensive clinical considerations and is not defined by the feelings of the partner or others. If there is any need for consultation, you can work with your partner to seek help from a psychologist.
Psychologist Xu Jiaqi explained that clinically pathological behavior is caused by the other person causing him “subjective” pain. For example, in the workplace, open relationships affect workplace life, or interpersonal relationships cannot be maintained, violating social norms, etc. Therefore, to define whether a person’s behavior is “pathological”, it must be objectively judged by combining the physiological, psychological and social interaction levels.
How to distinguish between an open relationship and an affair or cheating? How should the other half adjust to being “unsatisfied”?
However, with the “stealing” and “cheating” that are performed every day on social news pages, those involved are likely to use “open relationships” to defend their behavior. Psychologist Xu Jiaqi said that in the eyes of ordinary people, “affair” behavior is caused by one of the parties in the marriage having an affair. Cheating is when one of the parties in an intimate relationship cheats on someone, and neither of them should be confused with a cheating relationship.
Psychologist Xu Jiaqi explains that the difference between an open relationship and cheating or having an affair is that both parties in an open relationship “know and consent” to the behavior of multiple partners. Two people in an open relationship must openly inform each other and make joint decisions before the relationship begins, such as when to stop, when to increase or decrease the number of partners, when to terminate the relationship, etc. Some partners even use contracts and written forms to guarantee each other’s commitment.
On the premise that neither party is coerced by the other, an open relationship may seem free; however, psychologist Xu Jiaqi believes that an open relationship may also be based on a “dangerous balance.” Because intimate relationships often change, and partners may not always be able to maintain a consensus, it is difficult to assume that a relationship can develop stably.
There are also people who seek “open relationships” because after entering a relationship or getting married, they find that their partner cannot meet their (sexual or psychological) needs. Psychologist Xu Jiaqi believes that individuals are at different stages and have different emotional needs. For example, in childhood, one needs affirmation from parents, in adolescence, one needs affirmation from peers, and in middle age and retirement, one also needs companionship from different roles. The situation varies from person to person. Both partners should continue to coordinate and communicate, or receive consultation and assistance when appropriate.
Are there any traces of your partner’s cheating? How to get over the trauma of finding out your partner is cheating?
Psychologist Xu Jiaqi said that it is common if a partner’s mood changes significantly in daily life, such as becoming angry or impatient; or if the work and rest changes, often working overtime, leaving early and coming home late, being unable to find anyone on weekends, and changing the time when using mobile phones. signs of infidelity. The psychologist reminds that the most important thing is the “feelings when getting along” between the parties. If you notice any difference, you should actively try to communicate or seek psychological counseling assistance.
Psychologist Xu Jiaqi believes that problems in a relationship are often caused by ineffective communication between the two parties or the inability to understand each other’s thoughts. If communication fails, you can try “partner consultation” to face each other’s shortcomings from a professional perspective and eliminate the cognitive errors caused by each other.
Many clinical cases are for “guilt” and “confession”, hoping to clarify their thoughts through psychological consultation. For example, does cheating mean you don’t love your partner? This is a problem that many people still cannot resolve after having an affair.
When you find out that your partner has cheated on you, how can you get over the pain as quickly as possible? Psychologist Hui Jiaqi reminds that it is very important to maintain the “center of life” in daily life. Both men and women should maintain personal space in life, expertise, and work. It is recommended to maintain financial independence and avoid falling into the dilemma of “losing the other person and losing everything.”
Psychologist Xu Jiaqi suggests that full communication is very important in relationships and can help each other adjust their perceptions and expectations of the relationship. If a relationship does not develop smoothly, it is often not something that others can comment on. Only the two parties can find a consensus and whether they are willing to work hard for a common goal. If there are serious differences of opinion, they may need to consider whether it is worth continuing. Timely consultation and communication with your partner is also a good way to adjust each other’s pace.
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