Can't live without your ex and can't live alone? Psychologists reveal the key "2 reasons" leading to wrong dependence!
Should I see a doctor if I feel disconnected from my ex? People who are easily hurt by scenes and become disabled in daily life should pay attention
If you still can’t forget your “ex” after breaking up, may it be related to the underlying “attachment psychology” in your heart? Psychologist Xu Naiwen, a clinical psychologist at MiMi Psychotherapy Center, said that the “sense of need” for the ex-partner is one of the main reasons for being unable to withdraw from the relationship. Some people are very independent in the workplace and at home, but they cannot leave each other in close attachment relationships.
Psychologist Xu Naiwen said that cases who are often disconnected from their ex-partners are more likely to be taken care of in the relationship, have strong emotional attachment, and may even be unable to live alone, and are afraid of loneliness. In some serious cases, This will result in “life disability”. If you notice that your ex is seriously attached and often gets “hurtful”, you should seek psychological counseling help in a timely manner.
Is it easy to “break things off” if your ex’s behavior is contradictory? Insecure attachment “Type 3” is a risk factor
Psychologist Xu Naiwen analyzed that there are two types of attachment types in intimate relationships: “safe attachment” and “insecure attachment.” Partners who are able to maintain secure sexual attachment will reduce the risk of over-dependence and be able to make rational decisions when entering or leaving a relationship. Insecure attachment is roughly divided into three types:
Anxious attachment. It is easy to feel anxious when your partner is not around, but when you are close to your partner, you will push him away, resulting in behavioral contradictions. It is easy to have an ambiguous relationship with an ex-partner due to an unstable sense of need.
Avoidant attachment. When the distance between the two parties closes, the avoidant dependent will feel that there is a possibility of being hurt and will take the initiative to leave the intimate relationship.
Disorganized attachment. The mind and thinking are jumpy and unstable, and they may behave incomprehensibly in relationships.
Psychologist Xu Naiwen explains that the attachment type between each person and his or her partner can be traced back to the pattern of establishing an intimate relationship with parents during infancy. Therefore, the relationship with the family of origin is likely to be reflected in the pattern of getting along with partners when they grow up. In addition, it is not recommended for teenagers with immature minds to be overly exposed to film and television works that feature insecurely attached characters to avoid being subtly influenced and unable to establish a stable relationship with safe attachment.
Is the “sense of need” making you unable to live without your ex? Clarify needs to get rid of wrong attachments
Psychologist Xu Naiwen believes that “sense of attachment” is often related to “sense of need”. When you feel attached to your ex, you might as well try to recall what “satisfied” thing in your heart may be a greeting or a gentle gesture. Understand How your needs are met by your ex is sometimes an important clue to breaking away from being attached to your ex.
Psychologist Xu Naiwen also gave an example. In the past, there was a counseling case. After entering into marriage, he still contacted his ex and often blamed the other party for abandoning him and fantasized about getting back together with the other party. It was not until the other party blocked the contact information of the case that the matter came to an end.
Psychologist Xu Naiwen explains that this is a phenomenon of “obsession” with feelings, which can lead to unrealistic fantasies or paranoid emotions. If you encounter this kind of ex, try not to dance with him to avoid being affected in your life. You can also seek appropriate psychological counseling assistance to clarify your own needs and get rid of the wrong attachment to your ex.
